Skip to main content

What is a Bystander?

A Bystander is someone who sees or knows about bullying.

A Bystander is never neutral. They have the important decision to use their voice and say something, or    remain quiet.

When a Bystander remains quiet they help the Bully.

Statistically, most of your children will be Bystanders.  They have the most important role because there are many of them!

If Bystanders work together, they will be able to stop bullying quickly.

There is power in numbers!  Encourage your child to work with other children to respectfully confront a bully, or to talk to an adult together.

About 71% of students report incidents of bullying as a problem in their school.
56% of students have personally witnessed some type of bullying at school.


by Daisa, Anne, and Makayla - 5th Grade


Top 3 Reasons Students Give For NOT Using Their Voice


1.     I don’t want it to happen to me.

How To Respond

1.     Remind your child that they have a greater chance that it will happen to them if you don’t say something.  Remind them that when they remain quiet the bully’s power gets bigger and bigger.  Eventually, the bully may choose to move to a new target.



2.     I don’t want to lose my friends.

How To Respond

2.     Remind your children that true friends don’t treat one another badly.  In a true friendship both parties are able to express themselves to one another without penalty or harm.  If this is not the case, you may want to encourage your child to spend time with other friends that leave them feeling more comfortable.  You can also caution them that spending time with peers who are making poor choices, may leave them open for adults to assume they too are making poor choices.



3.     I might make it worse.

How To Respond

      3.     False!  Saying nothing ALWAYS makes it worse.  Saying SOMETHING lets adults know about a    problem and helps them pay close attention.  Adults want all kids to feel happy and safe. 

by Emma and Emily - 5th grade